Free to Serve

More on Proverbs and the Family

Proverbs is rich with verses that address almost every aspect of family life. I mentioned just a few on Sunday morning. For those wanting to dig in deeper here are some more references:

1. Proverbs that instruct the husband or father: 5:18-20 (a little racy, think Song of Solomon); 6:30-35 (this passage warns an adulterer that the husband who is cheated on will be really, really upset); 13:2 (on the wisdom of saving for your children's future); 14:26 (how godliness is good for the kids); 15:27 (greed hurts the family); 18:22 (it's good to find a wife); 20:7 (godliness is good for the kids); 30:21-23 (men should really love their wives).

2. Proverbs that instruct the wife or mother: 12:4 (on the wife as a crown--not a trophy wife!!); 14:1 (the wisdom of a wife building a home); 19:13-14 (one of many warnings against wives begin quarrelsome--the opposite is prudence); 21:9, 19 (more warnings against being quarrelsome); 25:24 (another warning against being quarrelsome); 27:15-16 (yet another! The idea seems to be that wife who is quarrelsome is divisive. Instead of supporting her family she is tearing it down. The wife is so important to the family that if she is not on board the family will fall apart. Thus the repeated warnings against being quarrelsome. This doesn't mean a wife can't or shouldn't disagree with her husband. It does mean that disagreements should be worked out for the sake of the whole family); 31:10-18 (famous epilogue on an noble wife).

3. Proverbs about discipline: 13:24; 15:5; 19:18; 22:6,15; 23:13-14; 29:15-17. The overall idea is that disciplining your children will make for happy, healthy, godly kids. That's the pattern, not the promise!

4. Proverbs for children: 10:1 (be wise, it makes your parents happy); 11:29 (don't bring trouble on your family); 13:1 (listen to your dad's instruction and correction); 15:5 (accept correction); 15:20 (be wise, it makes your parents happy); 17:6 (kids should be proud of their parents--it's part of honoring them); 17:25 (it's really bad to bring grief to your dad or mom); 19:26-27 (listen to your parents); 20:11 (beware, you will be known by what you do, by your actions); 20:21 (don't expect a big inheritance, you'll need to work for whatever your parents give you for it to be worth something); 23:22-25 (listen to mom and dad); 27:11 (amazing how much joy a child can bring a parent so be wise); 28:7 (you are wise by obeying God's commands); 28:24 (don't take things from your parents without asking); 29:3 (make your parents happy by being wise); 30:17 (God cares how you look at your parents, don't be sassy or disrespectful).

Pick up and read Proverbs!

 

 

 

Evangelicals and the Family

We are all interested in the topic of the family. We've been hearing in the news recently of young men who have been harassed and beaten because of their homosexuality. It has even raised some to ask if Christian views of sexuality are related to the suicides of gays. In his book, God, Marriage, and Family, Andreas Kostenberger begins by pointing out that now is the time to explain what a family actually is:

For the first time in history, Western civilization is confronted with the need to define the meaning of terms "marriage" and "family." What until now has been considered a "normal" family, made up of a father, a mother, and a number of children, has in recent years increasingly begun to be viewed as one among several options, which can no longer claim to be the only or even superior form of ordering human relationships. The Judeo-Christian view of marriage and the family with its roots in the Hebrew Scriptures has to a significant extent been replaced with a set of values that prizes human rights, self-fulfillment, and pragmatic utility on an individual and societal level. It can rightly be said that marriage and the family are institutions under siege in our world today, and that with marriage and the family, our very civilization is in crisis.

If Kostenberger is correct, then it is incumbent upon Christians to think biblically and lovingly about family matters. Next Sunday morning: "Words on the Family" from the book of Proverbs.

Sunday Reflections

Last Sunday, my wife and I had the privilege of attending the service of First Baptist Church Charleston, South Carolina. It is the oldest Baptist church in the South, founded in 1696. The Gospel is still preached there, and we heard an excellent sermon from Psalm 51.

During the service, an elderly member of the church fainted and collapsed. My wife, who has a clear mind, a helpful heart, and a medical background went to assist. Thankfully, the lady who fell was fine, but it took several minutes to find this out. Meanwhile, we waited for the paramedics to come. They arrived and wheeled her out of our ancient surroundings to, I trust, a modern hospital. 

Over lunch, Deana and I spoke about the brevity of life. We spoke honestly and openly about our anxieties about life and even about death. Hearing the Gospel on a morning when we saw a woman nearly take her last breath primed our conversation! We both expressed how thankful we were for the lives--both material and spiritual--that the Lord has given us. We reminded each other that our health is in His hands, and we enjoyed another day together, being refreshed by the Word and in our marriage--the purpose of our retreat to Charleston.

That evening, as we prepared to go to dinner, Bryan Pillsbury, our Associate Pastor of Missions, called to tell me that Chris Carnes, the eldest son of David and Tricia, died that afternoon. David is our Associate Pastor of Corporate Worship. He and his wife Tricia have served at Mount Vernon for over thirty years. They are beloved by the church and the community. Their son (who has a younger brother, Patrick) had been very sick for many years. I did not know Chris, and only met him once, but I knew from stories told by his father that he had been sick for many years and barely had enough energy for work and treatment. LIfe was not something Chris could control--and he knew it. I saw Chris a few months ago after he had been in a car accident. He looked big and strong even in a hospital bed. He reminded me of his dad. He even cracked a joke. Chris's health could not be managed. The Lord saw fit to take Chris in his twenties, while he slept. Chris had a difficult life. I know he wrestled with God. I am thankful that, by all accounts, Chris remained humble before the Savior.

The congregation at Mount Vernon found out during the evening service that Chris had died. Our time of corporate prayer was coming to an end, all that remained was a devotional from Scripture. The text that evening was 2 Samuel 22:29, where David prayed, "You are my lamp, O LORD; the LORD turns my darkness into light." Bryan announced to the church that Chris had died and then encouraged them to stay to hear message that was brought by Pat Knowles. That was a good decision, and Pat rightly noted that months ago, when we planned this service and this text, the Lord knew exactly what would take place that day. I wasn't there, but I'm told Pat's first point was, "LIfe is too short to walk in the dark." 

Chris grew up at Mount Vernon. He was one of those children running through the hallways each and every Sunday. The Lord saw fit to take Chris back on October 17, 2010. 

Deana and I drove from Charleston to Atlanta Sunday evening. Like the rest of MVBC we prayed for David and Tricia and Patrick. It seemed like every hour on Sunday we were reminded that life is, in fact, too short to walk in the dark.

1 John 1:5-7

Christianity requires that we walk. John is clear: "If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin."

I'm thankful for Brad Thayer who will be preaching at MVBC this Sunday morning. These words are a feast for us, a reminder not only of God's incredible standards (we must walk in the light!) but of his incredible grace (we can be purified from our sin). 

For those at MVBC, two questions as you prepare for the upcoming message:

1) Are you walking in the light?

2) How has God purified you from your sin?

On a true friend

In his commentary on the Book of Proverbs, Charles Bridges reminded his readers that human friendship must always point us to Christ. He cited Proverbs 17:17, "A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity." But where do we find a friend who loves at all times? In Jesus. We will find good friends here on earth, but no perfect friends.

But--Ah! it is to [Jesus] that we must look as the perfect exemplar. To see the Son of God in our nature, that he might be our friend and brother (Heb. 2:14) to hear him "not ashamed to call us brethren" -- this is a mystery of friendship -- unsearchable. Truly is this Friend -- he alone, worthy of our unlimited confidence. Such is the constancy of his love -- at all times (John 13:1) -- even unto death -- unaltered by the most undutiful returns -- "turning and looking upon" the disciple (a look so full of tenderness and power!) whom we should have excommunicated. Such the sympathy of his love -- born for adversity; so united to us -- the friend and the brother we need; never nearer to us than when in our lowest depths of trouble . . . 

Christ is and always will be our perfect Friend. We can trust him. Love him. Serve him. Need him. He will never let us down. He is worthy.

Will there be friendship in heaven?

We know there won't be marriage in heaven. Jesus was clear, "At the resurrection people will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven." Still, people wonder how we will relate in heaven to those who were once our spouses here on earth.

I've not heard anyone ask if there will be friendship in heaven. C. S. Lewis wrote there will be friendship in heaven. Moreover, he indicates that quality friendships on earth is a taste of this future friendship:

True friendship is the least jealous of loves. Two friends delight to be joined by a third, and three by a fourth, if only the newcomer is qualified to become a real friend. they can then say, as the blessed souls say in Dante, "Here comes one who will augment our loves." For in this love "to divide is not to take away." Of course the scarcity of kindred souls--not to mention practical considerations about the size of rooms and the audibility of voices--set limits to the enlargement of the circle; but within those limits we possess each friend not less but more as the number of those with whom we share him increases. In this, Friendship exhibits a glorious "nearness by resemblance" to Heaven itself where the very multitude of the blessed (which no man can number) increases the fruition which each has of God. For every soul, seeing Him in her own way, doubtless communicates that unique vision to the rest. That, sys an old author, is why Seraphim in Isaiah's vision are crying, "Holy, Holy, Holy" to one another (Isaiah VI, 3). The more we thus share the Heavenly Bread between us, the more we shall have.

Leadership Retreat Recap

Last Friday night the Deacons, Leadership team, and spouses gathered together for encouragement. I had the privilege of speaking for a few minutes about several ways I'm encouraged about what's going on at MVBC and several questions I have about moving forward.

Areas of Encouragement

--Evangelistic conversations. I am having and am seeing others have wonderful evangelistic conversations. It may be with a Muslim friend or an unbelieving family member. We want to be a church that grows through conversion. This will only happen as we share our faith. I'm so thankful there are so many here who are bearing witness to Christ by making the Gospel known.

--Spiritual growth. The other day I had the opportunity to hear why a man chose Islam over Christianity. He said that the Christians he knew growing up could not begin to explain what it meant that the Father, Son, and Spirit are one God in three persons. He could never find anyone to answer the question, "How could Jesus ask his father, 'My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?'" This young man turned to the Koran and found answers. He told me the Koran teaches that there is no Trinity. Jesus is not God. He was only a human. But he never died. He was taken up to heaven so that God did not forsake Jesus but someone who looked like Jesus. These are answers, but they are the wrong answers. Hearing this Muslim share made me thankful for those at MVBC who are struggling to know God's Word better, more intimately, deeper. I'm seeing people learn the deep truths about God so that when a fourteen year old comes to them with good, thoughtful questions, they will be ready to contend for the faith.

--Numerical growth. I'm glad that the Lord is adding people to our number. The church is growing with individuals who love Christ, want to serve Christ, and want to do this in the context of a local church.

--Constitution. I'm encouraged by the amount of unity there has been surrounding the Constitution.

Questions As We Move Ahead

--Will we trust our leaders? Leaders can be too bold--nobody wants to follow a tyrant! Leaders can be too passive--people want to know we are headed somewhere! Leaders are to be humble and bold and patient. They are also to be wise. As we move forward with elders, we will have men called to a unique role of leadership in the church. Will we trust them?

--How will we handle growth? As the numbers at the church increase, will we open up our homes and our lives to those who are new? Will we always remember that it is the Lord who builds his church and not us? In seasons of prosperity it can be tempting to assume that we are doing something right and to give ourselves the credit. But it is God's church. He gets the glory.

--How will we handle adversity? Churches face difficulties all the time: budget shortfalls, disagreements, seasons of slow or no growth. How will we handle those seasons when they come? Will we start over and try to do church differently, or will we continue to entrust the church to God, trusting him to prosper us?

--Will our personal lives match our professions of faith? In 1 Kings 11 something horrible happens. We discover not only that King Solomon took many, many wives from other countries but he allowed himself to worship his wives' gods. He became an idolater. A man who had been blessed with such great wisdom was still a sinner and he allowed his sin to take control. As a result, the Lord tore the kingdom not from Solomon--but from Solomon's son. All of us are tempted toward idolatry. My prayer for the leaders of Mount Vernon is that though we will not be perfect, we will be holy. We will not hide hypocrisy in our hearts. We cannot expect God to look with favor upon his church if his people are hiding their sins. 

These are a few of the questions I have for us as we move ahead.

 

The Constitution Passed

Sunday morning the Constitution passed. After a unanimous recommendation from the Deacons, MVBC overwhelmingly voted upon a new Constitution and Transition Plan. According the the Transition Plan, the present By-Laws are in effect until we have seven elders confirmed. This won't happen before March. Please be praying as an Elder Nominating Committee is formed and begins to meet.

The Elder Nominating Committee will help ensure that we teach on the qualifications of an elder, that we solicit names from the congregation, and that we bring to the church names to be voted upon. There is a lot of work ahead. In the meantime, we should be thankful for the amount of unity we see right now.

God gives his churches leaders: elders and deacons. The qualifications can be found in 1 Timothy 3. In the weeks ahead we want to spend a good deal of time thinking through these qualifications. No human will ever meet them, but they are held out as a standard for us to strive to attain. We can expect God to provide us men who are godly and wise.

 

Proverbs and the Gospel on Friendship

We continued our series in Proverbs Sunday morning. This time we looked at several texts that have to do with friendship. Many verses warn us that not everyone who calls himself a friend is a friend: Prov. 1:15-16; 14:20; 16:29; 18:19; 19:4-7. Prov. 22:24-25 warns us against making friends with those who are hot-tempered. Several other texts tell us how to keep or lose friends: 10:12; 12:26; 14:30; 16:6; 16:28; 17:9; 18:1; 19:11; 22:11. Prov. 25:17 is very practical, "Seldom set foot in your neighbor's house--too much of you, and he will hate you." But what is a friend? These texts help flesh out that question: 17:17; 18:24; 20:6; 25:21-22; 27:6; 27:9-10; 27:17.

As I prepared this sermon, I was constantly reminded that I'm not the friend I should be nor the friend I want to be. This makes me all the more thankful for God the Father who has befriended me in Christ. It is interesting that God the Father is never called our friend but we are called his friend. 

If I could add two things to the sermon, I would emphasize: (1) When we are lonely, we can draw near to God and he promises to draw near to us (James 4:8). We think we need others--and in a sense we do. But God alone can satisfy. Spend time alone in prayer and in God's Word. Hunger after him until you find him. (2) Jesus knew what it was like to be alone. This is not because he sinned but because he bore the punishment we deserve. When he was forsaken on the cross he had already been abandoned by his disciples, but on the cross he was abandoned by his father. He did not deserve it. But he willingly accepted it. When you feel lonely, remember that Christ knows how you feel and turn to him.

 

Wrapped Up

We just wrapped up the leadership retreat at MVBC. It was a great time of fellowship Friday night and Saturday morning. Troy Kubes gave a great message about biblical leadership, humility, and perseverance. I spoke Friday night about things where I'm encouraged and then I asked five questions that I think we need to be thinking about in the months ahead--again, I will blog my remarks next week.

This morning we heard from Shane Koehler of Faith Community Church in Woodstock and Dean Ropp of Midway Community Church near Alpharetta. Those brothers served us well by unpacking the Bible's teaching on the qualifications of elders and deacons.

More than anything, I enjoy spending time with these men that I have known and partnered with now for almost three years. They encourage me in the faith with their presence and their counsel and their service to Christ here at Mount Vernon.