A few weeks ago, at a church members meeting, I was sharing a little bit about the small group ministry we are about to start. We haven't had small groups here, at least officially, for quite a while. I mentioned that the groups tended to be informal conversations about a Scripture passage, sermon, or even a good Christian book. We are aiming, I said, to have kind of gospel-centered conversations we hope you are having around your kitchen table. In other words, we want to model--in a small group format--the types of discussion that should be a part of our daily lives.
After I finished the presentation, a faithful member raised his hand and asked, "Aaron, what is a gospel-centered conversation?" I have to admit that his question took me aback.
My reading and thinking has been so awashed in the vernacular of "gospel-centered" that I took it for granted everyone know what I was talking about. After all, there are books on gospel-centered parenting, the gospel-centered family, gospel-centered discipleship, gospel-centered hermeneutics, gospel-centered funerals, the gospel-centered life, and of course, a book that argues the gospel is so central to everything that it's title is simply, The Gospel as Center. Perhaps it should be no surprise that the phrase, "gospel-centered conversations" flowed so easily out of my mouth.
So, what is a gospel-centered conversation? It is the attempt by a Christian to speak words of grace and truth into the life of another person.
Two passages are particulary instructive. First, Ephesians 4:29, "Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear." Paul is encouraging gospel-centered conversations in the sense that he's exhorting believers--men and women whose lives have already been transformed by the gospel. Those who have "put away falsehood" (v. 25) are those who have been born again; they have put on a new self (v. 24). If the gospel has changed your life, you must now be eager to see your words improve and edify those with whom you speak. To "give grace" to another person may simply mean to bless them. But it could mean that God chooses to work in your friend through the words you speak.
Second, Hebrews 3:13, "But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called 'today,' that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin." Our words are used by God to protect our brothers and sisters from the deceitfulness of sin. Clearly, human wisdom cannot accomplish this. We need words saturated with gospel-truth. By encouraging others to pursue Christ, we are helping them grow in godliness; we are helping them live the gospel.
We should aim, every day, to have gospel-centered conversations that encourage other people to follow Jesus. What could this mean for you while you sit down over chicken and green beans with family or friends? Instead of limiting conversation to the rainy day, your team's missed field goal, the plot of the latest movie you saw, or the temperature of the mashed potatoes, consider asking some questions that will stimulate gospel-centered conversation:
- What have you found espeically interesting as you've been reading the Word recently?
- Did anything strike you from last week's sermon?
- What are you thankful for this week?
- Are you facing any challenges to your faith that I can be praying about?
- Where have you seen spiritual growth in your life this past month?
- Have you made any opportunities to share the gospel recently?
- Who are some of the people in you life that you are investing in the most right now?
- Have you grown recently in what means to rest in Christ?
- How has Christian truth helped you at work lately?
- What suffering are you enduring as a Christian?
My fear is that many Christians just are not used to answering questions like this. They expect them in Sunday school, but they don't expect to actually have to answer them. They see these questions are kind of like foreign currency--interesting to look at but not much use. But think about how much good could come by peppering your daily conversations with questions like this. Your friends and family will come to see that you really care about their souls. They will come to expect this kind of conversation--which may spur them to grow in Christ when you aren't even with them.
Please don't misunderstand me. There is a time to talk about the weather, your favorite team, and a show you particularly enjoy. As Christians, we can receive all things with thanksgiving (1 Tim. 4:3-4). But may our conversations--in and out of small groups--be increasingly marked by the gospel at work in our lives.