Free to Serve

A Word for Singles

For a couple weeks I've devoted the Sunday morning sermon to giving counsel to parents. The past few years, the Lord has blessed MVBC with a significant number of new moms and dads. It seemed appropriate to devote a couple hours to some basic, biblical counsel on how to think through parenting. 

One of the things that struck me the most as I talked to folks after the messages, is how thankful so many singles were for the teaching on parenting. Some of them carefully listened, storing up counsel for the day they may be parents. Others are struggling to have kids, and are carefully rethinking whether they should adopt. Still others were amazed to see how the body of Christ needs every member to speak into the life of kids--and that includes singles.

Still, as I pull away from this series on parenting, there are few things that I'd like to say directly to the singles at MVBC. I pray that these bits of encouragement are helpful to you as you think about how the Lord might use your singleness for his glory.

First, learn to be content.

We all need to learn this valuable lesson. It's not easy. It seems whatever season of life we are in, we are all tempted for the next season or, perhaps, for the last season. Singleness may be a season God gives you for a few more months or a few more years. But however long you are here, trust that the Lord is in it. He knows exactly what it takes to make you holy, and in His sovereign goodness this is His perfect plan for your life. Remember how Paul said, "I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content" (Phil 4:11). It's a hard lesson, but somehow it's when we don't have what we want the most, that we learn to want God the most.

Second, learn to be productive. 

These years of singleness may be some of the most productive years of your life for gospel ministry. Paul said the "unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord" (1 Cor 7:32). In other words, there is an unsual zeal with which a single person can live for Christ. It's not that the single life is holier than the married life, it's just that the single person is not preocuppied with meeting the needs of a spouse. In a very real sense he is free to devote himself single-mindedly to the Lord and his work.

A married person constantly factors in the desires, strength, gifts, and weaknesses of his or her spouse. Those factors must play into ministry decisions. The single person is unencumbered by such issues. The single person may set his hand to the plough of whatever ministry opportunity presents itself. Take advantage of this flexibility! Don't let your time be consumed with day-trips, video games, long work-nights, or endless workouts. Make the best use of the time God has given you. Disciple younger singles, mentor children, visit the homebound, and spend extra time in prayer.

Third, consider going overseas.

Just becasue you are single, doesn't mean you should devote your life to international missions. But if you are single, shouldn't you consider it? If you are a young professional, there may be skills you have that are unusually helpful for a missions team serving in a fairly-closed country. Have you explored the possiblity of going overseas?

A couple of years ago I met a single man who was starting his first week on the mission field. He spent his adult life working for state governments. He was a gifted administrator. He always had a passion for missions, and he decided to pursue a career overseas. He joined the International Mission Board and now is the executive director of a company that serves as a platform for missionaries reaching out to muslims.

This may not be the Lord's will for your life, but as a single person you are unusually free to consider whether you should use your skills where the gospel needs to be proclaimed in unreached parts of the world.

Fourth, pray that God would bring you a godly spouse.

Perhaps this seems at odds with the counsel about contentment. But I don't think it is. I've not met many singles who believe that they are called to be single. I know that many think they are so called, but most of the singles I meet would actually like to be married, they have simply not found the person they want to marry or, if they have, that person doesn't want to marry them! Either way, this is a hard position to be in.

My encouragement is to pray boldly for a godly spouse. God may answer that request with a resounding, "No." That's His business. If you are a man, your business is to pray for a godly woman: a woman adorned "in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control," a woman adorned "with good works" (1 Tim 2:9-11). You should care much less about her looks than you do about her heart. If you are a woman, pray for a godly man who loves Christ, loves the Word, loves the church, and will work hard to provide for a family. This is a man with whom you can serve the Lord.

Brothers and sisters, the Lord may decide not to give you a spouse. Again, that's His business. But you should feel free to pray that He would.

Fifth, adopt a family.

The year before I was married I adopted a couple families! Time with these husbands and fathers changed my life. These men taught me how to pray, taught me how to study the Bible, taught me how to speak to a wife, and taught me how to love kids. Their example left a life-long impression on my mind. You may not have come from a Christian home. If that's you, you may especially need the example of an older brother or sister in Christ. Pursue a family like this!

In a city like Atlanta, this can be hard. We live far apart, schedules are full, life is busy. But don't give up trying. Identify an older brother or sister in Christ and ask what it might look like to fold into that family for a season. Maybe it just means a meal every once in a while, or joining the family for game night, or raking leaves on a Saturday. This kind of time will be a blessing to you, and a blessing to that family as well.

***

My single friend, there is so much more I could say. But I want to leave you with one last word of encouragement: If God would have you be single for the rest of your life, don't lose heart and don't lose hope. Our Savior remained single. He devoted himself fully to his heavenly Father, and he lived a full and complete life without ever taking a romantic stroll through the park, kissing a woman, or enjoying sexual intimacy. Was he tempted in this way? Of course He was, but He didn't need a woman to be whole and you don't need a spouse to be whole. All you need is Christ.

Foster Tales II

As I shared earlier, we said goodbye to our foster child, Teresa, on Good Friday of 2013. Having her was a painful yet wonderful experience. Here is a sample of the lessons we learned and how we are going about thinking through next steps.

*****

Our Lessons 

Having Teresa in our home for so long, and having to say goodbye, was the most difficult and wonderful thing we have experienced as a family. Here are some lessons learned, in no particular order, which may help explain what God taught us through it all. 

1. Love is a choice. I was raised in a world which taught me that love is a feeling, that it is something you can’t control. If the chemistry is right a man and a woman somehow fall in love and get married. And if something goes wrong and the love dies, the husband and wife part ways. But love isn’t like that at all. Love is a choice. This is a simple reflection on how God loves us. When we are pointed to the love of God the Son, we look not toward his feelings for us but his actions toward us: “By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers” (1 John 3:16). 

When Teresa entered our home for the first time, she was already an adorable bundle of energy. We didn’t know if we would have her for one month or one year. But we were called to love her. She needed to be loved. She needed to experience the affection of a mother and a father—even temporary ones like us! I certainly didn’t feel the love for her, at least at first. Thoughts swirled through my mind like, “How can I love her when I may have to give her up so soon?” I grappled with the reality that love is a choice. I wasn’t to love her because she was mine, or because she was easy to raise, or because she could give me love in return. I loved her because she needed to be loved.

2. God’s love is beautiful. We went into foster care expecting to provide mercy for Teresa. We wanted to rescue her—even if only for a season—from a tumultuous life and provide her with a safe and loving home, for as long as she needed it. We quickly learned that our patience would be tested. Teresa was always jumping—but not always in the direction we wanted. Travel between our home and visits with her parents left her confused and, at times, angry. She was not always easy to parent, and she was not always easy to love. 

As Deana and I reflected on the challenge of caring for her, we were reminded of just how loving and merciful God has been to us. God loved us when there was nothing lovable about us, “In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins” (1 John 4:10). And “God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8). By folding Teresa into our lives, we learned something of the tender mercy of God who adopted us as his children simply because he chose to. His love is beautiful. It is so beautiful, in fact, that it makes the cost of being a foster care family seem so very small. I love the way pastor John Piper put it when he expressed his delight in seeing families at Bethlehem Baptist embrace ministries of adoption: 

Few things bring me more satisfaction than seeing a culture of adoption flourish at our church, Bethlehem Baptist. It means our people are looking to their heavenly Father for their joy rather than rejecting the stress and cost of children in order to maximize their freedom and comforts. When people embrace the pain and joy of children rather than using abortion or birth control simply to keep children away, the worth of Christ shines more visibly. Adoption is as far as possible from the mindset that rejects children as an intrusion.

3. Foster parents are parents.  Parenthood is about more than biology. Our prayer and our goal was always that Teresa be reunited with her biological mother or father, assuming that they would provide her with a safe and loving home. However, that doesn’t change the fact that for sixteen months, Deana really was a mother to her. 

Consider 1 Kings 3. Two women who lived in the same house approached Solomon the king with a dilemma. Each had a baby and no husband, when one of the babies died. Now both women were claiming to be the mother of the child who remained alive. There was no DNA testing, so what was Solomon to do? He instructed the child to be cut in half and shared equally among them! The true mother cried out against this horrific decision and urged the king to let the other woman have the baby. Solomon, however, handed her the child. The king, of course, had no way of knowing who the biological mother really was. But this he knew—the true mother would do what was best for the child. Foster moms (and, for that matter, foster dads) may only be temporary. But that doesn’t change the fact that they really are parents. Their willingness to put that child’s interests above their own is the only qualification they need.

4. The church is a family. When Teresa joined the Menikoffs, she became a part of our church. The entire congregation loved her, prayed for her, and welcomed her with open arms each and every week. There are so many ways to serve a foster family. Her teachers greeted her with enthusiastic smiles. Several members went through a background check so that they would be cleared by the county to babysit. One family even went through the process of having a home study done so that Teresa could be left at their house. Many more people regularly asked how we were doing, and let us know of their support. We speak a lot about the church as a family, but having Teresa gave us a front row seat.

One of the greatest lessons we learned about the church as a family is how much we needed it. We simply could not have cared for Teresa on our own. Both Deana and I are independent. It is hard for us to ask for help. The demands of navigating the foster care system with its restrictions on babysitting and travel left us in great need. We were reminded of what we already know: the church is a family, and we need the family. The members of the body weren’t just serving Teresa; they were serving us.

5. All parents are called to give up their children. After raising Teresa for sixteen months, it really felt like she was ours. We knew with our head that this wasn’t the case, but apparently our head had stopped communicating with our heart. In the beginning loving her felt like a choice, and it was. But joy followed that choice. She was a member of our family. We knew she would leave us eventually, and that is what we were preparing for. We wanted to bless her biological parents by giving her the best home possible while she was with us. However, it seemed like “eventually” would never come. 

Then, one night, we received a call. She would be moving in with her father in one week. Those last few days we realized that, in a sense, all parents are called to give up their children. We raise them to let them go. We prepare them to make wise decisions in the waters of a world that are difficult to navigate. With foster care, you just have to be prepared to say goodbye sooner. It helps to remember that, ultimately, Teresa didn’t belong to us, and our biological children don’t really even belong to us. They were not made in our image, but they were made in the image of God. They belong to him. We try to take good care of them for as long as we have them, and that’s all we can do. 

6. Saying goodbye to a foster child is traumatic. We planned as best as we could for her departure, but there was no way to be ready for the silence that flooded our home the morning she left. A few weeks before, I was taking a walk with a friend who told me that losing a foster child was a little bit like experiencing a death. I looked at him incredulously. How could he really equate sending a foster child to go back to her biological family with death? But he was right. Obviously, if she had been removed after a shorter period of time, it would not have been so hard. But sixteen months was long enough for us feel the sting of her absence. 

7. The gospel really is enough. I have mentioned already that the gospel motivated us to become part of the foster care system. That’s not to say that I believe everyone should be a foster parent or pursue adoption. It is simply to say that God’s saving work in our lives is what gives us a desire to serve him, to serve our church, and where the opportunities arise, to serve those outside the church. But the gospel did more than motivate us toward foster care; it sustained us through foster care, even to the point of saying goodbye to Teresa. 

Because of the gospel we are convinced that all of our needs have been taken care of by God. We never have to worry because our biggest enemy (sin) has been put to death (Galatians 5:24). And we never have to fear because our future is secure (Hebrews 12:22-24). The trials in this life are minor in comparison to what we faced (the wrath of God for our sins) and trivial in comparison to what we can expect to face (the perfect presence of a holy God who loves us). So whether it was the difficulty of learning how to manage life with a child who wasn’t truly our own, the uncertainty of not knowing how long she’d be with us, the reality that she was leaving, or facing the fact that she had left, God did not leave us alone. He prepared us to face these trials by reminding us that the most important work had been taken care of. Jesus bore the punishment that we deserved so that we could be free to live a life that pleases him. Now we are simply called to be faithful with the days before us, entrusting all the results to God. 

That’s why I say that the gospel really is enough. I’m thankful for the grace God gives his people to endure difficult things. And though I know that saying goodbye to a foster child is a small trial when set against the tragedies so many face, it was, nonetheless, our trial, and one we needed the Lord’s help to bear. 

Our Future

As best we can tell, Teresa is adjusting well. She is with her dad, she is near some extended biological family, and she is adjusting to life in a new home. For that we are very thankful. Though the story is not over, not every foster tale has such a promising ending. 

Even as I write these words, our family is praying about whether or not to see Teresa again. We want to do what is best for her. At two and a half she doesn’t understand deeply, and were we never to see her again she would eventually forget us. But it would please us to be part of her life in some form or fashion and perhaps even to be an encouragement to her family as well. We want dad to understand why we became foster parents, our love for Teresa, and our genuine desire to see him flourish as a parent. 

What will we do next? Time will tell. Our motivations have not changed. Stewardship, love of neighbor, and the gospel demands that we pour out our lives for Christ. We are not sure if that means becoming foster parents again, pursuing an adoption, or simply investing more of our time in our own extended family or as disciple-makers here at Mount Vernon and in our neighborhood. There is much good that can be done, and there are many ways to serve. We know service will look different from person to person, and we are using this break to figure out what it should look like, going forward, in our family. 

Meanwhile, we wouldn’t give up the past sixteen months for anything. A few nights after Teresa left, I asked my family a question: knowing what you know now, would you still have wanted Teresa to stay with us? Everyone said yes. We don’t know Teresa’s future, but we are grateful that she was with us for so long. Not only were we able to be family in her time of need, but we were able to share with her the gospel. Our heart was not only for her physical well-being, but her soul as well. As Dan Cruver so clearly stated: 

The ultimate purpose of human adoption by Christians, therefore, is not to give orphans parents, as important as that is. It is to place them in a Christian home that they might be positioned to receive the gospel, so that within that family, the world might witness a representation of God taking in and genuinely loving the helpless, the hopeless, and the despised.

May God give you a heart for the orphans—inside and outside the church.

 

Foster Tales I

For this month's Perspective, I decided to share my family's story about our experience with foster care. In this post, I want to summarize our story and share our motivations--why we decided to become foster parents. In an upcoming post I'll share some lessons we learned and lay out our future plans--as best we know them!

*****

On Good Friday my family and I said goodbye to a foster child who had been in our home for sixteen months. She came to us the first of December, 2011, when she was not quite a year and a half old. Teresa (not her real name) had already been in foster care more than once. Her parents were young, unmarried, and at the time neither was able to give her the home she needed. From the day she arrived, we prayed that her mom or dad would be able to care for her well so that she could be reunited with one of them. In the meantime, we wanted this to be her last foster home.

 

What is Family Worship?

The term, "family worship" is being used a lot lately. I'm glad for that. I regularly hear of local churches (including my own) that are strongly encouraging moms and dads to lead their families in worship. This is, of course, nothing new. You can look at James Alexander's work, Thoughts on Family Worship, first published in 1847. Moreover Don Whitney in his booklet, Family Worship: In the Bible, in History, and in Your Home, argues that Christian families have always alloted time to Christian evangelism and discipleship within the home.

This should be no surprise to us since we have biblical evidence that God's people have always been instructed to raise up their children in the ways of the Lord. Consider Deuteronomy 6:6-7, "And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise."

That passage in particular leads me to address one concern I have about the growing interest in family worship in the church today: We must not think of family worship as something that we can merely schedule in our homes. Though it is important, wise, and helpful to gather the family together sometime during the day for prayer, bible reading, singing, and biblical conversation, true family worship extends beyond that time and into the warp and woof of a family's entire life. That appears to be the point of Deuteronomy 6:6-7.

So avoid thinking of family worship as an event. Think of it instead as a lifestyle. Family worship is the deliberate, consistent, and careful evangelizing and discipling of the family.

To say it is "deliberate" is to say that family worship does not happen accidentally. It requires planning, preparation, and intentionality. This is especially true of those times that you may schedule. What will the family read together? What prayer requests will you work through? What particular questions might members of the family have that need to be addressed? All that requires deliberate preparation.

To say family worship is "consistent" implies that mom and/or dad are always working on it. They are making plans and executing them. Children are formed more by patterns than they are by points. One point in time, one conversation, can be really helpful. But many points form a pattern and are more likely to have a long-lasting effect. Having a consistent, scheduled time of family worship is great. But consistently taking advantage of every opportunity to turn conversations to the Lord is even better.

To say family worship is "careful" is to say that theology matters (1 Tim. 4:16). Kids need solid answers from parents who are careful to look for those answers in Scripture, good Christian books, and from friends and even pastors at church. But kids need more than parents who are careful to shower them with good theology, they also need parents who are careful to shower them with love (1 John 4:7-12). We don't create a culture of family worship in our home simply to raise excellent kids who will be good models in the neighborhood, we do so because we love God and we love our kids--and one way we show our love for them is by carefully pointing them to Christ. Think of it this way: our kids need good theology but they also need warm hugs.

The reason we are deliberate, consistent, and careful is because we want to see our children evangelized and discipled. Our kids may or may not be Christians. Time will tell. In the meantime we should be sharing the gospel with them every day. The youngest child can truly repent and believe. It may be hard to discern if their repentance is genuine, but praise God that it is our job to faithfully share the gospel with them again and again and to repeatedly call them to repentance and faith. Salvation belongs to the Lord. Every child is different, every circumstance is unique, but I think it is a good rule of thumb to pursue baptism for a professing believer when he or she is at or on the cusp of adulthood.

Furthermore, we want to create a discipling culture in our home where it is normal and natural to talk about the Lord. This includes modeling for our family a rightly prioritized life. When it comes to the gatherings at church, would your kids see in your attitude that meeting with the church body is something you have to do or something you get to do? When it comes to hospitality, is your home merely a place of refuge from work, or is it a place of ministry for the sake of others? When it comes to your own interaction with family (parents, grandparents) do your children see you honoring them? Consider that how you treat your parents is a key indicator of how your children will one day treat you! Finally, what is the culture of your home? Again, is it normal and natural to talk about Jesus?

I am so thankful for what I see as a renewed emphasis being placed upon family ministry in the church and family worship in the home. Nonetheless, I pray that we never boil it down to ten minutes on the couch after dinner. May family worship in our homes be that, but may it be so much more. May it be the deliberate, consistent, and careful evangelizing and discipling of the family.

The Most Indulged Generation

A few years ago, I had the privilege of hearing members of The Greatest Generation speak about their service in World War II. One of the men stood up and said, "Well, we really aren't the greatest generation, we just did what we had to do. The real heroes were left behind." Of course he's right, but looking back at that era, I don't think Brokaw was wrong to keep the title, "The Greatest Generation." Though our Allies would have liked America to enter the war sooner, the fact remains that when the United States engaged after Pearl Harbor, we flew in with a full head of steam. The entire nation made sacrifices to make the war effort possible. 

I'd like to see a generation rise up with a similar vision to sacrifice themselves for something noble, grand, and greater than themselves. I'd like to see a generation of believers willing to spend prudently, live sacrificially, pray fervently, preach boldly, and travel broadly to proclaim the name of Jesus Christ in the cozy confines of backyard cookouts as well as in the steaming heat of a Central Asian marketplace.

My thoughts in this direction were recently stirred by a booklet put together by Ed Moll and Tim Chester, Gospel-Centered Family: Becoming the Parents God Wants You to Be. Listen to Moll and Chester:

So being a gospel-centered family is about what you do 'inside' your family, but it's a whole lot more than that. A family that's turned inwards is not a gospel-centered family. The gospel is good news. It's a message we share with others, beginning with our neighbours and extending to the ends of the earth (Acts 1 v 8).

I love how they put that. It is easy for families to be sound doctrinally, consistent in family worship, regular at church, but lacking a burning desire to see the lost around them confronted by the good news of Christ. Certainly a family that is striving to make Christ the center of it all will be outward focused.

Moll and Chester argue that we are not helping inculcate in our children the understanding that we are here to make the good news known. They insist that many parents are so prone to build their lives around their children that their children conclude they must be the center of it all, not Jesus. And, as a result, Moll and Chester insist, "In the west we are perhaps creating one of the most indulged generations ever."

This is something worth thinking about. What is the tone, the tenor of our families, of ourselves? Are we reminding our kids of the opportunity they have to live for the sake of others--whethey they become doctors, lawyers, plumbers, or stay-at-home moms? Are we reminding ourselves that the Great Commission is for us? Or, are we contributing toward the creation of The Most Indulged Generation?

A Word for the Parents of Children

In the same message that pastor Spurgeon addressed Sunday School teachers, he also spoke to parents:

And then, you parents, 'Do not sin against the child' by being so very soon angry. I have frequently heard grown-up people repeat that verse, 'Children, obey your parents in all things.' It is a very proper text, and boys and girls should carefully attend to it. I like to hear fathers and mothers preach from it; but there is that other one, you know, which is quite as fully inspired, 'Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.' Do not pick up every little thing against a good child, and throw it in his or her teeth, and say, 'Ah, if you were a Christian child, you would not do this, and you would not do that!'  I am not so sure. You who are heads of families do a great many wrong things yourselves, and yet I hope you are Christians; and if your Father in heaven were sometimes to be as severe with you as you are with the sincere little ones when you are out of temper, I am afraid it would go very hard with you. Be gentle, and kind, and tender, and loving.

After a warning to parents not to be too stern, Spurgeon than urges them not to be too lenient:

At the same time, do not sin against the child by overindulgence. Spoiled children are like spoiled fruit; the less we see of them, the better. In some families, the master of the house is the youngest boy, though he is not yet big enough to war knickerbockers. He manages his mother, and his mother, of course, manages his father, and so, in that way, he rules the whole house. This is unwise, unnatural and highly perilous to the pampered child. Keep boys and girls in proper subjection, for they cannot be happy themselves, nor can you be so, unless they are in their places. Do not water your young plants either with vinegar or with syrup. Neither use too much nor too little of rebuke. Seek wisdom of the Lord, and kep the middle of the way.

Those of us who are blessed with children have our hands full. We will not be perfect parents, but by God's grace we can model something of his compassion and discipline.

Every Family Does Family Worship

Wednesday night, I sat in on an Equipping Matters class that Doug Young is teaching at MVBC on the topic of Family Worship. This session was called, "Implementing Family Worship." It was practical, insightful, and challenging.

I walked away reminded that in order to have intentional, deliberate, and productive times of family worship, I need to prepare. It's amazing how much thought we give to so many details in our lives--where we are going to go on vacation, how we are going to budget our time at work, what the next project at our house is going to be--and how comparatively little attention we give preparing to lead our families (or even ourselves) in the basic disciplines of Bible study and prayer.

Family worship is more than a few minutes gathered in the living room for a Bible study. It's way of saying that Jesus Christ is the most important person in our lives, and we are going to be spending time in his Word, understanding it and applying it.

And here is the thing: every family does family worship. Every dad is leading their family to worship something. It may be sports, it may be work, it may be technology--but the kids in the home know what is most important to mommy and daddy--even if they can't articulate it.

So the question really isn't, "Are you doing family worship," the question is, "What are you leading your family to worship today?"

Guest-Centered or Family-Centered Hospitality?

My wife and I have been thinking about hospitality a lot lately. Is there a "biblical" way to do it? How much of how we do hospitality is affected by how we've seen it done? How much of the way we do hospitality is a reflection of our own personal makeup? And so on . . . 

One of the other more specific questions we've batted around has to do with our attitude toward guests. Should our hospitality be guest-centered or family-centered? Guest-centered hospitality says you stop what you are doing to make sure that your guest feels welcome, you do all you can to serve them, you treat them like visiting angels! A more family-centered approach says you let them come in and participate in what your family is doing. They are welcome to stay, or not stay, they are welcome to be a part of the "family" at least as long as you are in your home.

There are advantages to both approaches. There are times, I believe, for both approaches. 

But I was really pleased to be forwarded a link to this post by Thomas Brown. He notes that our approach to evangelism is hugely dictated by our culture. If I'm understanding him rightly, he'd say that most Westerners lean towards what I'm calling a family-centered approach while most Easterners (Middle East) would lean toward being guest-centered.

You can read his post here. 

I'd love your thoughts!

New Perspective

I just read Robin Spangler's review of Radical Womanhood by Carolyn McCulley, and I want to commend it to you. It is a shocking look at the false bill of goods our culture has bought when it comes to the roles of men and women. These views have changed everything from how teenage girls dress to how couples use their home.

I love this question from Robin's review, "Is your home a community and a place of ministry and outreach or your museum of materialism and consumerism?" Our culture teaches us to view the home as a place to isolate ourselves from the world. The Bible teaches us to view the home as a place where men and women can reach the world for Christ.

Good stuff. Read it here.

Parenting Conference

Last weekend, Deepak Reju was here to lead us in a four-session parenting conference. He went through the gospel and parenting, getting to the heart of our kids' behavior, communication, and discipline. I appreciated a couple things, especially. First, the reminder that there is no manual for parenting except the Bible. We have been given tons of principles about godliness and some select commands about parenting and are called to put them all together, on a daily basis, as we raise our kids. Second, since this is true, it is hugely important to know your children. How do they struggle? Why do they struggle this way? What are their likes/dislikes? Deepak repeated again and again how vital it is to study your kids so you can best minister to them. 

Parenting is not easy. There is nothing more humbling than seeing your weaknesses repeated in the next generation. But there is hope as well, because God has not abandoned us to parent in isolation. He's given us a church for encouragement and instruction. Pray that as the years go by, we as a church do a better job of standing alongside parents, reminding them of the awesome and wonderful responsibility we have been given, and encouraging each other in the task at hand.