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My Prayers for Parenting Conference

Even as I am getting ready for my sermon on Sunday morning, my heart and mind are focused on the upcoming parenting conference. Here are my prayers:

1. Adoration to God who has given His Word so we know what to do with our kids. The Lord is good. He has not left us without guidance. There is enough in Scripture to instruct us how to shepherd our kids. Moreover, there is parenting wisdom in the Gospel message itself. This is amazing. Praise God that He has lavished us with knowledge and wisdom and given us hearts that want to obey Him.

2. Confession of my own failures as a parent. There are many. As I prepare my own heart to come to this conference, I confess my own sins. Some are sins of commission (impatience/distraction) many sins of omission (erratic family worship, less-than-stellar quality time with kids). There are more!

3. Thanksgiving that we can have this conference. I'm thankful to God that there is such an interest in Gospel-centered parenting, that so many people desire to know what the Bible has to say about how to raise, train, nurture, and love our kids. I'm thankful for the facility that we have as a church to make retreats likes this possible, as well as the staff and volunteers who work so that the details of the conference don't get in the way of the purpose of the conference. I'm especially thankful for our children's ministry staff, Terry Earl, the coordinator, who urged us to have such a conference, and Kathryn Searle, who joined us recently and has been so faithful to roll up her sleeves and get involved. Finally, thanks for Deepak, his time, and the unique gifts he brings to this conference. 

4. Supplication: there are so many things to pray for:

• Attention. That after a long day, we would be ready to listen, eager to learn, and energetic enough to think.
• Our children. That our children would thrive during these hours that they are away from us. That they would enjoy time with other kids and that there would be no emergencies!
• Amazement. That we would be amazed by what God has done for us in Christ. This is the heart of godly parenting.
• Relationships. That as we meet together we would grow to know one another better, that many great, deep, honest conversations would take place.
• Action. That what we learn would positively and practically affect how we parent. That no one would drive away from the conference without a firm commitment to act out what we have learned.

So, whether you are here Friday and Saturday or not, join me in praying!

Sow Diligent

It is difficult not to get excited about the upcoming parenting conference at MVBC. My friend, Deepak Reju, is going to be teaching. Deepak is a wise and godly man. He and I spent many an evening talking at the Lincoln Memorial in 1994 when I moved to Washington, DC. He was called to ministry shortly afterward, received an PhD in counseling at Southern Seminary and now counsels as an associate pastor at Capitol Hill Baptist Church in DC. He also oversees the children's ministry at the church. Deana and I have sought him out for counsel with our own children! 

If you are in the area, I hope that you will come. It is the Friday night and Saturday. The cost is minimal but the investment is eternal.

On Serving Kids

C. H. Spurgeon wrote, "I had rather receive the title of S.S.T. [Sunday School Teacher] than M.A., B.A., or any other honour that ever was conferred by men." Sunday afternoon we had a luncheon to thank the volunteers who so faithfully serve our kids week in and week out. Terry Earl, our Children's Ministry Coordinator, put together this amazing video. To all who serve, thank you!

 

 

Five Reasons Your Children Should Read the Bible to You

My kids and I are at the end of 1 Samuel. They are reading to me. It's an exciting time and I'm aware that it is beneficial. Here are some reasons why:

1. It gives them great practice reading. You are right there, able to correct and encourage where appropriate. You learn very quickly not only how well they can pronounce words, but where they are struggling to understand concepts. 

2. Words and ideas sink in better when verbalized. Reading aloud may be laborious, but few disciplines do a better job forcing us to think deeply about what we read.

3. It forces conversation about relationships. Everyone needs to learn how to relate to others. The Bible is full of people relating to one another. Sometimes this is done well, (e.g. David and Jonathan), but sometimes this is done poorly (e.g. Saul and David). Kids learn a great deal about appropriate and inappropriate behavior through the stories you find throughout the Bible.

4. It allows Scripture to drive doctrine. Our kids will have more confidence in what we and their Sunday school teachers teach them if they are reading the Bible for themselves and seeing ideas, themes, doctrines over and over again.

5. It humbles us. How do you explain to your children the fact that David took more than one wife? Why does God demand the extermination of entire cities? Why was Saul so envious of David? Why was David anointed as king long before he took over as king? These are all good questions, the types of questions kids ask and the types of questions that, frankly, most of us will have a hard time answering without some study. Better your kids see you struggling with Scripture but bowing down to it then your kids thinking you have everything figured out until they grow up one day only to conclude that you have very little figured out.

Maybe you have other reasons . . . 

More on Proverbs and the Family

Proverbs is rich with verses that address almost every aspect of family life. I mentioned just a few on Sunday morning. For those wanting to dig in deeper here are some more references:

1. Proverbs that instruct the husband or father: 5:18-20 (a little racy, think Song of Solomon); 6:30-35 (this passage warns an adulterer that the husband who is cheated on will be really, really upset); 13:2 (on the wisdom of saving for your children's future); 14:26 (how godliness is good for the kids); 15:27 (greed hurts the family); 18:22 (it's good to find a wife); 20:7 (godliness is good for the kids); 30:21-23 (men should really love their wives).

2. Proverbs that instruct the wife or mother: 12:4 (on the wife as a crown--not a trophy wife!!); 14:1 (the wisdom of a wife building a home); 19:13-14 (one of many warnings against wives begin quarrelsome--the opposite is prudence); 21:9, 19 (more warnings against being quarrelsome); 25:24 (another warning against being quarrelsome); 27:15-16 (yet another! The idea seems to be that wife who is quarrelsome is divisive. Instead of supporting her family she is tearing it down. The wife is so important to the family that if she is not on board the family will fall apart. Thus the repeated warnings against being quarrelsome. This doesn't mean a wife can't or shouldn't disagree with her husband. It does mean that disagreements should be worked out for the sake of the whole family); 31:10-18 (famous epilogue on an noble wife).

3. Proverbs about discipline: 13:24; 15:5; 19:18; 22:6,15; 23:13-14; 29:15-17. The overall idea is that disciplining your children will make for happy, healthy, godly kids. That's the pattern, not the promise!

4. Proverbs for children: 10:1 (be wise, it makes your parents happy); 11:29 (don't bring trouble on your family); 13:1 (listen to your dad's instruction and correction); 15:5 (accept correction); 15:20 (be wise, it makes your parents happy); 17:6 (kids should be proud of their parents--it's part of honoring them); 17:25 (it's really bad to bring grief to your dad or mom); 19:26-27 (listen to your parents); 20:11 (beware, you will be known by what you do, by your actions); 20:21 (don't expect a big inheritance, you'll need to work for whatever your parents give you for it to be worth something); 23:22-25 (listen to mom and dad); 27:11 (amazing how much joy a child can bring a parent so be wise); 28:7 (you are wise by obeying God's commands); 28:24 (don't take things from your parents without asking); 29:3 (make your parents happy by being wise); 30:17 (God cares how you look at your parents, don't be sassy or disrespectful).

Pick up and read Proverbs!

 

 

 

Evangelicals and the Family

We are all interested in the topic of the family. We've been hearing in the news recently of young men who have been harassed and beaten because of their homosexuality. It has even raised some to ask if Christian views of sexuality are related to the suicides of gays. In his book, God, Marriage, and Family, Andreas Kostenberger begins by pointing out that now is the time to explain what a family actually is:

For the first time in history, Western civilization is confronted with the need to define the meaning of terms "marriage" and "family." What until now has been considered a "normal" family, made up of a father, a mother, and a number of children, has in recent years increasingly begun to be viewed as one among several options, which can no longer claim to be the only or even superior form of ordering human relationships. The Judeo-Christian view of marriage and the family with its roots in the Hebrew Scriptures has to a significant extent been replaced with a set of values that prizes human rights, self-fulfillment, and pragmatic utility on an individual and societal level. It can rightly be said that marriage and the family are institutions under siege in our world today, and that with marriage and the family, our very civilization is in crisis.

If Kostenberger is correct, then it is incumbent upon Christians to think biblically and lovingly about family matters. Next Sunday morning: "Words on the Family" from the book of Proverbs.

Saturating Your Children with God's Word

Andy Davis is the Pastor of First Baptist Church Durham. He has communicated a passion for children and adults to saturate their minds with Scripture. See a booklet he wrote on the subject here. In another little booklet, "Saturating your Children with God's Word" he concludes with the following application:

(1) Commit yourself to discipline your children.

(2) Establish a regular pattern of family devotions, led by the Father where possible.

(3) Develop a specific plan for discipleship for each of your children.

(4) Weave Scripture into every aspect of your life.

(5) Submit to an accountability relationship to be sure this gets done.

Parents, have you done this?

 

 

Naked Truth

Matthias Media puts out a periodical called The Briefing. Matthias is an evangelical ministry based out of Australia. It is nice to read articles with an international flavor. A couple of years ago they put out an entire issue devoted to the topic of purity. Here is an excerpt from an article written by James Warren called, "The Naked Truth About Porn." Warren points out what we know but can too easily forget: pornography is destructive at every level!

Long-term, not only does pornography deaden attraction for one's partner, it deadens the ability to have healthy relationships in general. All people are increasingly objectified for what they can do sexually for the voyeur. Porn distorts all relationships, and prevents the growth of loving other-person-centered relationships.

Here are some resources on the topic that may be of help:

Especially for the married:

Sex, Romance, and the Glory of God by C. J. Mahaney

Sex and the Supremacy of Christ, edited by John Piper and Justin Taylor

God on Sex: The Creator's Ideas about Love, Intimacy, and Marriage

For everyone:

Pure Sex by Tony Payne and Phillip Jensen

Not Even a Hint: Guarding Your Heart Against Lust by Joshua Harris

The Purity Principle by Randy Alcorn

Radical Womanhood

I know that a number of women at MVBC are keeping up with a blog by Carolyn McCulley, Radical Womanhood. It is named after a book she wrote describing how feminism in the culture has affected the church. Carolyn is an accomplished, single woman. She's written for Christianity Today and the Washington Post. She just started a film company called Citygate. 

I just listened to an interview with her here. She speaks as one who came to saving faith as an adult. The fact that God has different roles for men and women in the home and church came to her as quite a surprise. In this interview she helps churches understand the challenges facing women in general and the challenges facing singles in particular. She gently encourages churches to carefully fold singles into the family.

Hearing her talk reminds me that it is too easy for singles to feel like second class citizens in a church of "families." We should praise God for the families in the congregation but, even more fundamentally, we are one family full of singles and married couples, youth and seniors. Carolyn suggests we be careful not to divide the church by age and stage of life. She also says one of the best experiences she had in a local church was when she spent time with a married couple where the man was truly a brother in Christ to her and the woman a sister. 

May we see the same kind of relationships built here at Mount Vernon!

By the way, another blog that targets women: girltalk. 

69 Years and Ephesians 5:25

George and Martha Camp were married 69 years. She died last week and her service is at MVBC today at 1pm. George and Martha grew up in Dallas, Georgia. They went to school with one another since they were seven years old. They started dating at seventeen. They had a long life together which included raising two sons, Ron and Alan, who are both married and have children of their own. 

George had a long and distinguished career with the United States Postal Service. He managed many people, had a great deal of authority and, by all accounts, executed it well. But I'm convinced that he stored up more treasure in heaven these past fifteen years as he faithfully cared for Martha who suffered with Alzheimer's. He met her everyday. Always for lunch. Sometimes for breakfast and dinner and the time in between. He said he loved her and talked to her and touched her and prayed with her even when she could no longer understand him. Ephesians 5:25, "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her."

From what I'm told, Martha gave her life to Christ and her family. George worked hard and loved hard for the glory of God. Pray for a man who has lost the wife of his youth. Praise the LORD who does all things well. May the young men and women in our congregation be helped by examples like this.