One of the most disturbing chapters of the Bible is the account of Amnon and Tamar in 2 Samuel 13. Here a young man lusts after his half sister, plots to rape her, commits the act, and then throws her away.
Amnon's sin begins with a natural enough desire. 2 Samuel 13:1 says Amnon loved Tamar. We shouldn't limit this use of the verb to our modern day sense of romantic attachment. It's not like that at all. We simply discover here that Amnon was attracted to her. He desired her physically. In that sense, and in that sense only, he loved her.
Many a man has caught himself attracted to a woman he cannot, he must not have. The temptation is not the issue. The problem is Amnon does nothing to flee temptation. He is not Joseph who ran from Potiphar's wife. He is not Paul who fought the good fight. He is Amnon who gave in, gave up, and did what his heart wanted instead of what God demanded.
So Amnon doesn't guard his heart and when his friend, Jonadab, discovers his obsession, he doesn't try to stop him either. How different this story might have been if there was a godly man in Amnon's life who knew his temptation and challenged him to be holy. Instead, Jonadab paves the way for Amnon's sin. Even worse, he shows Amnon how to sin. He comes up with a scheme to get Amnon alone in the room with Tamar, and Amnon follows the plan perfectly. Tamar objects, she pleads with Amnon to stop. But he wouldn't. He overpowered her. He violated her.
What happens next is stunning. We are given no sense that Amnon was sorry. He shows no sign of repentance or remorse. We are simply told that after he raped her, "Amnon hated her with very great hatred, so that the hatred with which he hated her was greater than the love with which he had loved her" (2 Sam. 13:15). Could it be that Amnon couldn't look into her face without being reminded of his own sin? Could it be that in his heart of hearts, Amnon knew that what he had done was wrong, and he wanted to get rid of the evidence? He was ashamed. But shame is not enough.
I'm thinking of so many men and not a few women, who lose themselves in internet pornography and when they are done they don't feel fuflilled, they don't feel satisfied, they don't feel whole. Instead they feel ugly, empty, weak, and ashamed. They have to run away from the computer. They know that they have disobeyed God, they know they have contributed to the corruption of those young women, they know they've sinned against their own bodies. They are ashamed. But their shame is not repentance, it is simply evidence that in their heart of hearts they knew right from wrong, either because they have been exposed to God's truth or simply because they are made in God's image and, therefore, "the work of the law is written on their hearts" (Rom. 2:15).
Amnon grew up in David's home. He certainly knew the law of God. He knew that what he did was sinful, vile, and warranted God's wrath. In the presence of Tamar he couldn't hide from his sin, so he pushed her aside, he pushed her away, and he did everything he could to put the whole ordeal behind him.
But he couldn't hide forever. His desire had conceived. It gave birth to sin. And in just two years, it brought forth death. His half-brother, Absalom, hated Amnon for what he'd done to his sister. Absalom took justice into his own hands. Absalom had Amnon killed (2 Sam. 13:28). Thus ends the short and I'm sure unhappy life of Amnon of Judah.
Sex is a wonderful and beautiful thing. It's designer is God, it's home is marriage, and it's a glorious picture of Christ's relationship with his bride, the church. But since sin entered the world we have abused it. And now, with the ubiquity of internet pornography, we have invited it into our homes, onto our laptops, and even on our phones. To those addicted to internet pornography, I would tell them it is not enough to feel shame. Their only hope is to confess their sin, seek refuge in the One who knew temptation yet never gave in, and employ the power to fight sin given by Christ who died so we would never have to sin again.